I can’t be the only one sitting wondering how it is 2026? It feels like the last few years have flown in, and I’ve lost all concept of time. They say that is a sign of getting older, which is just great.
2025 was one of my worst personal years to a very long time. I just did a really poor job of looking after myself. Both mentally and physically. And it lead to me being very unproductive, and my hobbies falling at the wayside. I think I posted 20 posts on here last year, which is really not good.
It’s not that I don’t like writing, it’s that I didn’t see the point. I struggled with everything that needed any kind of effort. Now, whilst hobbies may seem surface level, it was bigger than that. I wasn’t keeping in contact with friends, because I felt so worthless, that I would just drag them down. Just shit on the lives of people around me. Calling the doctors, and getting medications sorted was spending I was bad at. Because I had no energy to spend effort in anything, I wasn’t calling the doctors, I wasn’t chasing up unfilled prescriptions, getting blood tests. To get a lot of medical problems resolved, a person needs to be pro-active. And I simply didn’t care enough. Why bother?
I’ve been trying to garner the energy to get back up to date with things. I’m not doing so well, so far. It doesn’t help when I get motivated during the holidays, when everything is closed.
In previous years, I have attempted to change lots of things at once, and then acted surprised when it failed. This year, I have a lot of hopes, but I am goingto do steps gradually. See if that helps. And maybe I can find a bit of drive for the year ahead.
Every December I seem to be surprised at how quick the month comes in. I always start with the best in between intentions, like this years plan, where I bought 1 gift in November, and thought I had it sussed. I was going to be so prepared for once. I was so proud of myself. But, I then didn’t buy anything else till last week. Good job, me.
I like this time of year. Christmas decorations everywhere, dark nights, crap telly, lots of food, and spending time with the people that matter. It is nice, and it feels like people are a bit happier.
This week, I did buy the rest of the gifts for people. Between shopping in Livingston, and Amazon. And today, I sat and wrapped everything. So, I feel very accomplished.
I haven’t been mentally great the last few months, and have been burying myself in my interests. Or, the ones I have focus for. Formula 1 is one of the things I throughly enjoy, I have done since I was little. Like, one of my favourite computer games from my childhood was Nigel Mansell’s World Championship Racing for the Game Boy. I remember watching Nigel Mansell on the TV, and thought he was so cool. I have been a fan of formula 1 since then. As, I got older, I went from being a general fan, to supporting all the drivers, but liking McLaren as a team. And, after watching some of the feeder series in the mid-to-late 2010s, I started following Lando Norris. And was thrilled when he joined the McLaren junior driver program. Never really thought I’d be here in October 2025, where McLaren have won the F1 championship, and Lando, and his team-mate Oscar Piastri, are close to winning the driver’s championship.
I am from an era where social media was MySpace and Bebo. Where special interests were discussed at great lengths on web forums, with deep dives of particular tracks, teams or drivers. Yes, there were arguments, but if things became too intense, members would get warnings off admins. If a user got repeat warnings, they would end up banned from the forum. The admins were just forum users who had shown good behaviour towards other members, and showed good behaviour. A bit like mods on twitch streams. It was basically the members keeping each other in-line, and making sure that there was no abusive behaviour. It worked really well, mostly. There were always people who would cry about the FIA favouring certain drivers, and teams. But, usually these chats would be argumentative, but nothing too severe.
Now, it feels like every fan space is the same. They exist on pre-existing social media services. Stuff like TikTok, Facebook, Threads, Twitter (X), there is quite a few. The big issue, I find, is that there has been a big shift in how content is moderated. There is has been a shift away from community self-moderation, towards the social media companies doing it instead, relying on AI to enforce the rules. What this has lead to is something rather inefficient. Where social media companies remove posts, and even accounts, because of something like improper word use (e.g. the word ‘gross’), whereas actual threatening behaviour is reported, and nothing is done.
It is like any existing rules are not enforced fairly, which I think leads to quite horrific behaviour. Where fans are sending co-ordinated threats to drivers, family members, team members, and even other fans. And, these threats seem to be over nothing. Someone shares their opinion, abuse. Someone tries to share facts that they know of, which can help understanding of a particular rule or event, abuse. It’s all a bit odd. And every little incident that happens on track, or in the paddock, can be ammunition to hate other drivers and their fans. Sites like TikTok have lots of deepfakes, some with drivers dancing, but others have AI generated videos of a driver hugging and kissing them, the fan. It is beyond disturbing.
There are also ‘news sites’, where people (and AI) create articles based on nothing. Not even rumours. A lot of the time they are opinion pieces, often based on rumours they start themselves. They are often based on whatever conspiracy theories are gaining traction on social media, and often just spread the lies out to a wider audience. The fans, who are already agitated over conspiracy theories, get even more angry. And, they take it out on other people who are often just calling out the bullshit.
I am finding that it is tearing the heart out of whatever community is trying to exist. Where people are attacked for saying anything. There isn’t a sense of enjoyment brought from a joint experience of something great. It becomes stressful. It has left me wondering, recently, is it worth it? Probably not. I have found friends, who I value, and love chatting to every race weekend. And, I don’t want to leave that. But, as the 2025 season drifts along towards the latter stages, I am left wondering if reconnecting with the F1 community that I had been missing for years, is something worth the worry? Is it still something worth stressing over?
I have recently been posting prompt posts. Partially because I have had a completely lack of creative motivation, but also because I just feel stuck in a rut. So, I have to retain myself, hold back, so that I am not simply whining all the time. Which is something very easy for me to do.
I am currently ambling along, just keeping myself to myself. Work, come home, do nothing, eat crap, not meet up with people, ignore texts, just sit and wallow. It’s one of the these things where I just feel like a burden to myself, so why push myself onto anyone else. I just feel useless. Like, if the world was a giant swimming pool, I’d be the person in the corner, struggling to keep my head above water, as I doggy paddle in a shallow edge.
There is this idea, which I’ve seen posted around social media, which states that to make a positive change in your life, you need to start by making small daily changes. One positive thing a day. That positive thing may not be something huge, it could be making your bed when you get up in the morning, putting some laundry on, or even remembering to brush your teeth. The idea is that the more you do these ‘small things’ the easier it is to get yourself moving and those ‘big goals’ can seem more reachable.
It also means, that if you start off by doing these small things, your mindset changes. You achieve something before you even get started on your day. Which, if you are someone like me, who struggles to do anything when the routine of work is not present, it is super helpful.
So what did I do today? I made my bed, and opened my curtains. And jogged to the bus stop this morning. I am actually feeling better for it. I just need to keep going.
Since I was a child, I have experienced music running through my mind. Whether it was the hymns sung at Sunday School, recently discovered pop music, the bouncing beats to some ska, or the thunderous drums of black metal. I have always had something soundtracking my day, running alongside my thoughts.
Outside my head, the music that connects with me depends on my mood. Happy, maybe some Steps. Angry, maybe time for some Cannibal Corpse. Pissed at the world, Bad Religion. Trying to amp myself up for a day at work? Faithless. Want to do some artwork, NWA. Different music genres and bands motivate me in different ways, and it’s something that has become a hug coping mechanism for me.
If it were all to disappear, I don’t really know what I would do. How would I fill the void left behind? I think I would get more crabbit (grumpy), as the only noise around would be people, machines, and other worldly sounds. I would get especially annoyed at people, as I don’t want to hear their nonsense. I suppose, those noises would maybe become entertainment for me.
Funnily enough we were talking about this at work the other day. Like, what would you do with enough money to get your dream home?
I wouldn’t want anything too big. Maybe 2 bedrooms. One for an actual bedroom, and the other could be a library/ music room, where I could show all my records, books, and CDs. Have a big comfy couch, like a loveseat, where I could curl on with a good book and listen to some music. No TV. No internet. I can shut myself away from the world, and just escape.
Kitchen wise, it doesn’t need much. I’d like enough room to have things like an Air Frier, a Microwave, and a nice coffee machine. Plenty of cupboard space for mugs and snacks. And plenty of freezer space, so that I could bulk prep more food, and save money.
I’d like a back garden, where I could have a wee vegetable patch. Grow my own potatoes, carrots, and other veggies. Have a flower bed, where I could just have some wild flowers, to get some insects. A wee table and chair, so that I can sit outside on a nice day. Space to have a whirligig or washing line, to dry laundry on a nice day.
It would also have enough space in the front for a driveway, so that I’d have room to park a car. As it is a big factor for me not purchasing a car, as my current street is a a little low on space. Maybe get one of those American style post boxes in my garden, as I struggle to reach down to pick up post sometimes.
As for the where. I like small town life. I’d maybe travel further North, if I had the choice. Maybe a small town around Inverness? But, I wouldn’t be too disappointed to stay in Fife. I like being close to the coast, where I can go for a walk and smell the sea air.
Overall, I am not fussy. I would like a space for myself, a place to be entirely myself, to enjoy what I love.
My friend was gifted tickets to Knockhill Racing Circuit last weekend, for the annual visit of the British Touring Car Championship (BTCC). I have only been to the Touring Cars a few times, and the last time was years ago. As I have got older, I am finding myself getting more interested in various types motorsport. And this year I have been watching more of the Touring Cars, so I was pretty happy to get a chance to attend the Sunday of the weekend, which is the main race day.
Earlier in the week, the weather forecast was looking a little unsettled, but when the day rolled around it was sunshine all the way. Luckily, I remembered to put on Factor 50 suncream before I left the house. And so I was fine, whilst it looks like most people I saw were a bit too red. It is rare that I have such foresight to prepare like that, but I was happy that I was. I found the merch stall, and there was lots of cut price merchandise for both BTCC and formula 1. I couldn’t find anything I could settle on, so I never bought anything. Motorsport merch can be very expensive, and I really didn’t want to shell out any money for something that I wasn’t quite sure of.
The tickets that we had were VIP for weekend sponsors, Lokring. This was a super cool experience, something that I haven’t had before at any sports event. We got in, and went to their VIP area which had breakfast rolls, soft drinks, snacks, and coffee. It was really nice and relaxed. Once checked in and fed, we went to watch the racing. The events racing at Knockhill over the weekend were The Vertu Mini Challenge, Porsche Carrera Cup, FIA F4 championship, and the British Touring Cars.
Porsche Carrera cup.
Ella Lloyd driving for McLaren in F4
Thomas Ingram, BTTC, currently 2025 championship leader
In between races, we walked to get some lunch and some cans of beer. It was great fun. And there was also times for meeting drivers, and collecting autographs. Me and my friend left it a little late and missed most of the session. But we did meet Gordon Sneddon, who is from Dalgety Bay and won the BTTC title three previous times. He is also heavily linked to Knockhill, with it being his local racetrack. It was pretty cool.
It was a really fun day, but I am not used to being in the sun all day, so was exhausted by the end of the day. As soon as we were leaving I was like “I need to go next year’, but there is a problem. BTCC weekend is earlier in August for 2026. This means that it is on the same weekend as Rebellion Festival down in Blackpool. A punk festival that I planned to attend this year, but hesitated so long, that the tickets sold out. It is very annoying. Why is everything always at the same time?
Me and the internet currently have a love/hate relationship. I used to call myself an internet addict, and found I thrived in the digital world, That is no longer the case. As people’s dependency on social media and mobile phone applications increases, people get brave. Or, they act brave, which is easy when you wear a mask of anonymity to hide yourself from any accountability. Sometimes, every comment that you put online is subject to negativity and anger. Something, that I have never understood, as most of my experience of doing things online have been positive experiences.
It is why I am taking more time away from social media and such things. The world exists outside of the internet, and it always will. The internet has done some awesome things. It is so much easier to find music you want to listen to, or the answers to any question you may have. I think the 2010s were peak internet, where everything felt so much more accessible. That our world was getting smaller.
That has changed a bit. People are realising that the albums, book, and games, that they purchase are only digital licenses to access the material. And, the material itself can be removed by online stores at any point. We had a time where movies, such as 28 Days Later and Dogma, were available in physical media only, and even then, the DVDs were no longer in print. So, the movies were not available on the standard market. Flappy Bird, that popular viral game from 2013, which was removed by 2014, and no longer available for downloading. The game stopped updating and eventually stopped working.
This whole scenario is leading people back to more legacy media, DVDs, CDs, vinyl albums, and paperback books. People want to own the items they spend their hard earned cash on. Especially when streaming platforms are known for having poor royalty schemes for music artists, so an artist does get more from a physical purchase. I can’t tell you the last time I bought a DVD or Blu-ray, but I do frequently buy books, CDs, and vinyl. I never really moved away from it. I mean, I pay for Apple Music, but I will always buy the physical albums of bands I like.
Digital is still handy. I am always watching some point of the Gilmore Girls, and I like having that on my devices to watch whenever I need to relax. But then, I watch more YouTube creators over anything else. Motorsport, football, ‘slice of life’, theme parks, and various video essays. I watch a variety of content, but it is this wide variety that keeps me tuned. I find myself cancelling more and more streaming options.
I guess, I am one of the people, who did love having everything online. But, especially as things become more oppressive against creatives, though AI initiatives or trolls in the comment section, I find myself wanting to disconnect more. This is why I think that this year has been one of the more challenging years, when doing things such as keeping a blog active. Sometimes, I think having a break from things will help. But, it honestly doesn’t.
Online spaces, which became a comfort for many whose real life was unbearable, is now longer a place of comfort. In fact, for many, the internet is worse than reality. Which is why it is important to have hobbies outside. Sport, crafting, anything that gets you to ignore your phone and social media. It’ll still be there when you get back.
Imagining your life in an alternate universe is like saying, what would you change in your life?
I try to tell myself that I don’t need to change nothing. Every is fine. When, in reality, I think everybody has complaints about life, on plans that never went their way. It’s normal, but most of us just make do.
I don’t think I’d want much. I’d have my own house, one with a library room, and a music room. A garden with a lovely flower bed at one side, and a vegetable patch at the other. I’d have a TV, with every subscription I’d ever need, to watch all the sports I want.
I’d have a job I loved. Something where I could utilise my creativity. It would be good to have something to do with books, or football, or motorsport, or music. One of those jobs where I could say ‘when you love your job, you never work’. I’d have the follow-through to make it actually work.
I’d go to the gym multiple times a week, and run. Take pride in running before a day of work. I’d be on top of my health, mental and physical. I’d actually see the point, see value in myself.
It’s pretty sad reading, really. I don’t want to be rich. I just would like to be happy. And functional.
I don’t know if it’s my age, but so much stuff gets on my nerves these days. I have such a short fuse for so many things. To be honest, most of them are highly trivial, and they are just another reason for complaining. We Scottish people love to complain a lot, and it can be about anything.
The big thing that bothers me is rudeness. Treating other people poorly for no reason is just not nice. A lot of the time, people are rude because they think the other person is ‘lower’ than them. Folk can be very judgemental, which is an automatic thing for most people. Some people use that judgement to try and knock down others. And normally it is based on nothing that other party has actually done.
I try to treat everyone with kindness, just because that is what I appreciate, myself.
sueriot.com 